I don't want you to tear, i hate it when u get hurt.

I detest all that makes u sad... but i may be one of those reasons u felt these...

*

*

*

It's the end of CNY!! And i am fully broke!! Not even a dollar in my wallet. cool huh?

Well, Spent the whole day at home, and sent Joker back home. Things didn't go well, i thought it would be some kinda happy time where we could see each other again, but nope, it was the exact opposite.

*

I think it's just the wrong body gesture that tells me a wrong perception. Let me elaborate.

It's like, i'm preparing to send her home, and i told her that i would meet her at the lrt station, then, she knows i'm still preparing, BUT BUTT BUTTTT, she just went of continuing the journey on the train... i'm like, wtf? Shows me that u don't look forward to seeing me. Then i become sian... my face now was like grey<-- (not yet black).

*

Then i let it pass, on the call, she said, "If don't want then don't send me home." I was EVEN more WTF! It's like, i CHOSE to send you home because i wanted to make u happy. It's like, i don't even feel appreciated at that moment, know how unhappy i was? ._. Sending her home was never a burden to me, instead it was a joy, something that i'd do because i like the feeling of having someone close to me, and being able to spend time with your loved ones. And today in particular, it just seem like nothing... I don't feel excited, and neither do i feel happy.

*

She cried, and i really think that she's in a bad mood. I am totally HELPLESS. I can't do anything to make her feel better. Guess the only thing that can help her is herself... Since i always can't do anything, i feel utterly useless, redundant. Shit.

*

Reached home, and i'm already full from the unhappiness. Used the com and things went on as usual.

*